 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 v. G' `) R& [; o' s7 u
. c6 P3 [- E9 l: x5 @
O# i0 p+ W+ o. t* z--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 @3 s( s1 O) b8 e+ O+ C; v5 ]% R
. B" H( B, ~8 p3 d" j7 m/ C1 N! C1 `
: [/ m7 e/ m% Y# j" Z6 d( B2 i# eTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
" M2 `# E* ~; c6 F# D; {- F& `* A( }/ ~0 q) ]
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3 H' {( B% z4 c; @
3 ]0 R- ]2 a& v' G
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.! z- j6 }9 [! e# ]" ]5 x
; @" |% y/ H4 i9 y" i
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ; O. n& j8 b9 s
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
) u# I7 P3 {7 f6 v0 D0 n9 @# _$ P$ N5 g( A$ {6 y( b
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
8 J/ b1 f) }. H/ W. X* G: L) C' |" I" B# T" ?# j" v5 }) v
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * c$ h4 X& C( s) r0 ? ~& ^
7 [& w, t! o7 v+ Q! J( l5 B1 K, J
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.! A x- `! K) {$ i$ ~" N& {/ Q
. l; T3 ?2 d0 M4 c' g. l
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 G9 Q: g- u2 l# }6 e0 D$ t3 u
, Q- l- ~9 y0 ~" t3 g$ s! O
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ! I" }( b8 P3 D
4 E& w: ^* a5 P3 H' e' A7 t3 u4 E
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / A0 c0 I2 G, p, q# a {9 \# M5 I+ R
! y! |3 w+ y0 p+ ^1 o% ^4 M' b
Rinse conditioner off hair.5 z" V j, n" z- c5 ]
& K) l9 p9 N6 V" \6 Q& dShave armpits and legs.: O' A2 A; Z6 R* m9 |
2 U# S: b2 }' S- ]/ n& a+ |: S
Turn off shower.
& Z; c' L& {3 ]3 Y7 H
a/ I0 V& s4 P) JSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# d, j j0 j# h9 |" d0 g
* d. R( y4 u& v2 ?& q
Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 A9 }# \9 t& O1 k' x, A" G
( r0 O5 `* Q/ o4 {0 R) I, Z' M2 |' pGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
2 ~+ H% ?' g4 q7 G! @- q3 @/ B# X6 r2 h: N
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. - ~# `; b& V) i6 x- A0 R' v
/ ]: x3 s0 K& k5 mReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 7 x/ M: z! B* r- j( N: q/ ]
8 |: p0 Y+ {/ q, TIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4 G, v4 {# v! R( K/ U
. H: R6 t, w- s l9 c% y/ T: L0 Y+ x- [3 J9 Z8 m" D& D/ F8 K
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
$ o/ V' D) m! T8 T) y4 d- }; G* y8 {( I' W( m. `; J5 @
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 v3 d7 `+ K+ t2 d6 q8 W
: b; M" {. t+ X9 F$ `Walk naked to the bathroom.& H9 t7 q6 J0 x( j. k5 Y/ T' b
1 z& ?; p5 c9 G- M# {: ~If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
0 ~6 B- l: D5 T
0 O4 h; c: S4 a+ b# e ?Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 3 e$ u" t' L, D' I; p
9 |4 Y4 F. i! z1 l4 q/ p# x" e w
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 e; U. v. K% F1 A
' V& _3 R! j$ y! O7 ^. xGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
$ H+ _; b8 Y! B+ h6 G
' {3 H: {" X3 H% E0 P2 PBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8 F8 u+ ^% U% X3 Q7 s3 f0 y3 ?$ Z
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & f# C; }; v: v
* n: \/ w% Q( w4 O( @5 f
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
1 \; X- N& X% y* E& H8 P4 H' n$ p. n# t
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
, ^0 a1 p6 g- k7 Z7 N" n% e6 U3 ?9 L- F. X) h) i( Z
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 p4 Z# S8 Q7 l! [- h/ h; n g
1 y5 H4 k3 z6 `7 p5 ?
Pee. 7 U# c9 H5 G; ^0 v7 r2 M( S
+ H; l" n% b YRinse off and get out of shower.
; z. R+ t3 W# }, Y* H' N
0 L8 Y" a) S3 W+ b' ZPartially dry off.5 M5 v, b+ ^* w" X0 n9 m' @8 q0 \
0 z m r7 n) W R: ~3 p8 r
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
1 i+ W8 F& D* G) l. l& n2 B# T: `9 o, l% H/ u
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
& l5 ~: I0 {" O- G, V
1 g9 j/ _8 g& z$ aLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
C0 Y% v% s" Y- t6 @8 K7 C1 H* U. f( P
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 6 o& k% l" T9 I/ V3 D* S
% t& x0 |( W: Z
Throw wet towel on bed. 9 X+ r B, h9 T# \
- k3 k2 u3 W: X, }( T( _) ?5 I6 f
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
