Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
% B+ g+ d, }0 |! H1 R2 M9 }8 q> > > >little TONY.
2 c7 w& N: L6 s4 f> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
1 p( R4 Y! `% m- Y+ s>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
: ]: V9 {5 c  w> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
& Q( r7 M) ~; b; s, B. @" A, |+ m> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
) p) [' i9 {& S1 e> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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' J" l9 ~% T% A. k& f> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
6 n0 H2 s3 A' F0 T- Z0 V> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
" Z: x, e' I' }> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
7 {+ z8 Y' T6 Z. s9 g> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
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> > > >
7 T6 C3 p: g8 M/ I> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
) {9 W3 ~$ T: \3 r6 t/ K. p> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
( u1 D# ]7 ~7 @* f2 n" n> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
: L3 a. n' ?+ v, j/ W% n> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
, \/ q- h- l5 p> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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% j( t4 n$ ~& y# `) c8 T9 Q5 Z+ c> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
8 r: p6 e. r- |5 a! A> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
+ K: B- @. P& u0 N* n> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
' l/ J$ D/ \5 D% `' p> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
. }; X' p" e. L, y* g. K' G> > > >allow
$ y! k0 I! y. a" _9 W> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
, p5 O( M% d  @% z/ E" I> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
! W+ {( T$ ?3 x; L" E, D> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
) J; [4 A7 S. Z3 V7 U; e! \> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
5 P! g+ C, T- b8 f+ R6 l6 n> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
1 M* W  g# T, k  B> > > >beautifully."
2 ?! e, f9 r2 l/ U> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
# {* _' z! r$ x. q> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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' V; f/ S) P* p" W0 J$ e! \( O> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
* K$ Y# `7 X6 E" n! B2 U4 B> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
' p; x0 [6 \" ]+ M' L$ G> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business